HELLO FRIENDS
GUESS WHAT THIS IIIIIIIIIIS~

It's that ZEN I LOVE MY CHARACTERS AND I LOVE ME MEME |D I WISH TO DO THIS NOW. SO I AM DOING IT. loev AJ, I am stealing it from her and countless others. It's like. Why I apped, why I love, why I am not dropping, WHY I LOVE MYSELF FOR HOW I PLAY THEM BECAUSE WE ALL NEED SELF-LOVE uhuhu. Sometimes. :|b

THIS IS ONLY PART ONE BECAUSE SOB. I can't finish this nowwwwww it's SO LONG. whyyy


CHISAME

Ohhhhh Chisame ;o; I like. I've told it countless times before but I basically apped Chisame just to get into CFUD, because I knew she was the sort of character who would GET IN very easily. Back then we had five volumes of Negima canon to work with! It might have been 6 or 7 but 5 was the last time Chisame had shown up. So all the canon she had was like. A chapter in volume 2 and a couple appearances in volume 5. And it was ENOUGH to get a really good sense of her character but she was sooooo minorrrr and I didn't expect that to . . . change!

But I should have known, man! Chisame is the kind of character Akamatsu LOVES. She's his favorite, I found out later. XD IN THE SERIES. OF 31 GIRLS AND LIKE 20 OTHER ASSORTED CHARACTERS. So she showed up really briefly in like volume 9, and then she showed up in volume 11 with her very own new chapter! . . . And then she kept showing up! . . . And then she joined the main group! . . . And then just last volume or so she basically took over as female lead for several chapters in a row! WE'VE REPLACED NEGI'S ASUNA WITH CHISAME, WILL ANYONE NOTICE?

I love Chisame because she is so dynamic and evolving without changing in huge drastic ways or for stupid reasons, without her personality actually altering. She's this girl who's gone from total shut-in world-hating GOD YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING WEIRD I HATE YOU! to . . . GOD YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING WEIRD DON'T INVOLVE ME IN YOUR SHIT I STILL HATE THE WORLD only she smiles sometimes, and she cares for people, and she's beginning to slowly look at herself and her behavior. She's starting to understand herself. And she stands up for what she believes in, and sometimes what she believes in is KIND OF WRONG and she KNOWS THAT, but she stands up for it anyway because it's hers and she wants to protect it, and that's a running plot theme in Negima. So like, the Chisame of volume 23 is STILL CHISAME, and I can't believe I've played the character for 16 or so volumes and over three years now.

I did make some wrong calls on Chisame early on, but shit happens, and I don't stress it anymore. I had little canon, camp was a different place, and it was fixable! I AM PROUD OF MYSELF FOR FIXING CHISAME. I am :|b and for keeping her this long. I don't think that like, every character can or SHOULD be kept for years. I don't think of it as like I AM SO AWESOME BECAUSE I HAVE HAD HER SO LONG, NO ONE SHOULD DROP EVER! But I am proud. Because I've watched her grow in canon and camp and wrong calls aside, I've also made some calls on her that turned out to be correct like two years before they EVER were referenced in canon. I think that's a sign of Akamatsu's brilliant writing, but SINCE THIS IS A SELF-LOVE THING, yes, I do also think it's a sign of being able to read into a character and understand them in a way that I certainly hope makes for good RP. |D

So yes, I LOVE CHISAME and as of right now I think my play of her is just fine, and I think that her camp development was sort of before its canon-time and not in a bad way, but in a way that makes me happy that I can do justice to a character who had barely begun to shine but then went on to become a major facet of her series. I LOVE HER MORE AND MORE ALL THE TIME and I just can't imagine letting her go. ;o;


HARU

SOB HARU. THE GIRLS OF REBORN DON'T GET ENOUGH LOVE. Haru was like . . . so I started reading Reborn. I'm one of those wacky people who does actually love the entire series. I started at the beginning and was hooked on how stupid it was because I love dumb shit, all right! I didn't really take it seriously. But we were getting some great cast in . . . and I was like OKAY, I'll read it, if anyone pings me strongly maaaaaybe I'll app, WHATEVER.

And then I got to Haru's intro chapter. And honestly, my first thought? Upon reading it? Was "OH LOOK, THEY ACTUALLY CREATED A CHARACTER SPECIFICALLY FOR ME TO APP." B-because yeah. Every chapter she appeared in just cemented my love for her. She's totally over the top and ridiculous and cute and lovable. She's like this little FUCKING BIZARRE bundle of tsundere adorable. And she's also very very human and kind of quietly messed up. I love that about her . . . she's a cracky character who is not really meant to be realistic, I don't think, especially not at the beginning of the series (she becomes moreso later)! Yet at the same time you can look at her behavior and you can see exactly where it all stems from. She's this girl who doesn't completely live in reality. She has this fantastic view of the world all built up and she tries to force things to fit into that view, and when they don't she temporarily breaks, until she gets better. It's both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness. Because she IS strong . . . she has a strong enough belief in HER IDEALS and HERSELF and HER REALITY that she's capable of overcoming basically anything to make it true. Even though her expectations of the world are kind of warped and she can be kind of fragile, she's the sort of person who will bear heavy loads and horrible situations just so she can have the kind of life she wants, and so that her friends can too.

And Y'KNOW she's also the sort of person who will barge into someone's room in the morning dressed up as a boat even if she just met them like a week ago and they run away from her in terror when she comes near. AND I LOVE THAT IN A CHARACTER!

Haru does not get much fandom love and I'm glad I am around to give it to her. HAVE I MISSTEPPED--probably, yes. Haru is a dynamic character thrown into an atmosphere here in camp that like, pretty much specifically targets ALL OF HER ISSUES, and she reacts to it and begins to change. So maybe she is moving away from where she is in canon. But throughout every step of it I've felt like "I understand what is happening and why." And I think that's important. I may have to do some nudging of her, but I really do feel like I GET HARU, I get how she thinks and what motivates her and her voice, and I don't SEE much of Haru around the interwebs, which is a fucking shame so. I will just have to give her the best I can because THIS CHARACTER WAS MADE FOR ME AND I KNEW IT EVER SINCE HER VERY FIRST CANON APPEARANCE.


YAMAZAKI

Fair warning that because this is Yamazaki, this one is probably going to be long.

First I have to start with why I love NHK. I love NHK for its unflinching realism. When I read it . . . yes, the characters and the situations are slightly exaggerated . . . slightly. How much so? I don't think it's as much as you might think. Misaki is probably the most exaggerated character, and I've known people like her. The issues that lead to her insane behavior are all completely legitimate, obvious, and not even uncommon. I think they're issues that everyone has to a small extent or has had in the past, even if only a little--that feeling of needing people who are lesser than you so you can prop up your own self-esteem. The idea of doing good works for others so that you don't have to focus on yourself and how fucked up you are. Every character in the series is like this! In NHK there are no good people. But there are no bad people either. There are only weak people. The sheer proportion of weak people, I think, is the only unrealistic thing about the series, and even that might not be so far off.

When I say unflinching realism, what I mean is that . . . NHK has crack, yes, a lot of REALLY FUCKING FUNNY crack. But the reason it has crack is that real life also has crack. And the characters don't get out of the consequences just because it was a joke. In most series, SOMETHING RIDICULOUS HAPPENS and then in the next scene they're moving on with the plot! But in NHK, that IS the plot--the plot is that ridiculous things happen and then people suffer. It's no coincidence that most of the funniest scenes in the series directly precede the characters' darkest moments. Because in real life, when something cracky happens to someone weak, their reaction isn't "OH LOL THAT WAS HILARIOUS." It's to lash out against their humiliation and fuck themselves over doing so. And that's what makes the series hard to read sometimes, and why certain people can't get through it. Something incredibly funny happens and you laugh, but then it's NOT brushed off as a joke, it actually hurt the people involved, and they react against it, and then something horrible happens, etc. etc.

I was hooked on NHK from Chapter 1, and Yamazaki was ALWAYS my favorite character, ever since he first appeared. I think Yamazaki is really the epitome of this whole theme of the series. He's a ridiculous character. He really is. When I play him I get a lot of comments about how hilarious he is, because HE IS. He's an obsessive otaku and he goes on this very funny dramatic rants about society and his ideas are all wrong and he loves porn and he is so very hilarious. But the thing is . . . it's not a joke. It really isn't funny at all. We KNOW why he's like this. And HE knows why he's like this. The series doesn't just brush him off as an obsessive nut, and it doesn't make light of the fact that oh lol otakuism is a way for people to escape reality and a way for people to feel like they belong in a subset of society when their actual social skills aren't great!

That's not played for laughs . . . it's addressed realistically. Yamazaki is a deeply fucked up person with trust and abandonment and self-esteem issues and it's absolutely explicit that his "funny" qualities stem from these problems. You laugh anyway, and you feel kind of bad for it. And then more horrible things happen to him and you laugh AGAIN even as you realize that they're just adding to his persecution and that he's going to react badly and THE WORLD OF NHK IS SO HORRIBLY REAL, SOB.

At the same time, his problems do not excuse his behavior, and this is also addressed realistically. You're never, ever made to think "Ohh, it's okay that he just did that! He can't help it! His childhood was so shitty!" That's NOT TRUE. He can help it. He just doesn't, because it's easier not to, because he started out being victimized by society and it was easier to let that happen than fight against it, so now he's contributing to it and making himself the victim. His behavior STEMS from his problems but they don't absolve him of the complete guilt of his actions. And the fact that he's written in this way is why I love him so much. He's a guy that you can understand and still hate, and then love completely, because you really do get why he is the way he is. And you get why he continues to be the way he is. You just . . . hate it.

And so does he. He has these moments of pure understanding and love and hope in the world, and at those times you really feel like "Here is a beautiful person who is hurting themselves deliberately in order to fill a role in society that they KNOW doesn't suit them, because it's easier than doing anything else. Because he's too afraid to do anything else." He really is a beautiful person. But he has some ugly problems, and he lives in an ugly world, and sometimes a guy just wants to be ugly because it's better to be ugly and feel okay RIGHT NOW than to be beautiful but alone and hope you feel okay in a year, after you've worked through your problems. He knows this and he hates himself for it, but the process of working through it is the kind of thing that's going to take a lifetime for him to achieve. He even acknowledges this and . . . takes a strange kind of comfort and happiness in this fact, that everything he's going through has meaning and that all he can do is keep living! Because that's the point of life! To keep living and get better!

SO . . . YEAH . . . that's why I love him. XD I love him because he's so realistic. Over the course of 40 chapters you're given such a full understanding of him. He does stupid crack shit and he does emo crying suicidal shit and he does loving, Jesusy shit. And it all makes sense because it all stems from the same bundle of issues and weakness and hope that make up Yamazaki. In the end he's just . . . a guy. A messed up guy who has reasons for being messed up, some of them his fault and some of them not so much. And at the same time he manages to be absolutely hilarious, and also surprisingly functional. He's actually THE MOST FUNCTIONAL, HAPPY CHARACTER IN THE SERIES. Which is kind of horrible. XD But yes, there's hope for him, and you WANT to hope for him because not only is he a pretty good guy, he's also the kind of guy that has some issues in common with all of us, and hoping for him is a way of hoping for everyone.

UHHH . . . I CAN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT MY OWN PLAY OF HIM . . . THAT WAS ALREADY WAY TOO LONG . . .

I . . . THINK I PLAY HIM PRETTY WELL? |D Not ENOUGH and I need to work on that, but when I do, well, I have fun, and I think people like him. :(d Oh god I have four more characters left.


VIPER

I loved the Varia arc of Reborn SO MUCH, I admit it. I have such a weakness for laid out tournament shit like that where everyone has someone to fight and there are NEW VILLAINS OMG MUST BEAT THEM! and the villains are INTERESTING and everyone has to work real hard and they don't always win, blah blah blah! When I first read it I didn't like any of the MEMBERS of Varia except Bel because everyone loves Bel. Then in retrospect I started loving Squalo. So I reread the arc for Squalo, thinking I might app him!

The first time I read the arc I never even NOTICED Mammon, really. Then upon reread I was just . . . hooked, for some reason, after a few chapters. I loved how he was just so dry and snarky and obviously regarded everyone else as idiots, and he was IN IT FOR THE MONEY! unlike everyone else who had this huge weird hard-on for XANXUS of all people. Mammon doesn't give a shit about Xanxus! He just wants money, and he wants some power too because power means more money! And he has stupid reasons for wanting this money but also some legit reasons because HE'S FUCKING CURSED and he wants to NOT BE CURSED and this is the first time we ever see one of the babies even address that in the series. It's like. He is this great mix of "Wow, he really is the sanest one here." and then he does something else and you're just like " . . . Wow, no, he's fucking crazy too, what IS this character?!"

Apping him and having a Reborn and coming in with Colonello and then getting Lal was FANTASTIC because I love the whole Arcobaleno Thing. That's another reason I love Viper. In Reborn there are these FACTIONS that people fall into. You're Vongola, or Varia, or Kokuyo, or Millefiore, or Arcobaleno . . . etc. And Viper is one of the very rare characters who falls into two of these groups. He's both Varia and Arcobaleno. And yet he doesn't really fit into either entirely. As Varia, he is A BETRAYAL HAZARD with no real loyalty. As an Arcobaleno, he is unhappy with his lot in life and deliberately hides himself from the others and bitches them out for being lazy whores. But the fact remains that he still has obvious ties to both, and some fondness for each. He's thrown into (or drawn to) these groups that basically ENSURE THAT HIS LIFE WILL BE SUFFERING because they all abuse and top him a lot and make fun of him and his stupid money-hoarding. But he kind of. Needs it. And enjoys it quietly. He bitches about money and tries to run away and insults everyone, but in the end he is still there interacting with them and he still helps them out, grudgingly. FOR A PRICE.

Also I just love the fact that there is SO MUCH MORE TO KNOW ABOUT HIM, and I can't wait until we get it. Having Mammon is like having a present half unwrapped or something. Or like. A present where it's still wrapped but you know it's a Wii game. You're like. AWESOME, I GOT A WII GAME! BUT I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE IT IS YET! BUT I KNOW I'M GOING TO LOVE IT SO IT'S KIND OF EXCITING AND SUSPENSEFUL THAT I DON'T KNOW YET WHAT THIS IS! That's what Viper is like. XD He's doubly in Varia and the Arcobaleno so once we're out of the TYL arc and he's no longer DEAD, he has substantial canon forthcoming. In the meantime, Amano's characterization of him is fucking fun to play with and gives me confidence enough to extrapolate on him a bit, which I hope I do well. I've had compliments! So I think I do all right with him. |D And I have fun when I do. All I can do it sit back, be babytarded, and wait for more great spoilers about how gay I am with Colonello I MEAN UH . . .


Hokay shit I need to take a break. I'll . . . do the others later. Sob.